Question by : Should I end this differently? If so, how?
Her books flew to the ground as she wrenched in pain from whoever’s shoe it was that just tripped her. Amor fought back tears as her trembling hands grasped at her pre-algebra notebook. She picked herself up, swallowed hard, and walked through the vandalized doors of Beautiful Savior Baptist School clutching her homework to her chest, and staring at the ground. The teachers drudged around the school closing blinds, cleaning their classrooms, and locking doors. Amor’s eyeliner ran down her face, as she ran to catch up with her friends.
“Hey! Kaleb! Wait up!” she yelled in vain. It’s okay, he just didn’t hear me. She lied to herself silently. Seeing him with all those girls flirting with him just killed her soul. Amor wondered why he didn’t ever talk to her when anyone else was around… I’m not that embarrassing to be seen with, am I? Oh well, I’ll catch him on Facebook tonight.
She turned the corner, and tried to recall the safest way home. The sun beat down on her pale white skin. Amor glanced up. The sky was so beautiful. She sighed, remembering all the fond memories she had there. Downtown Fort Wayne was her favorite place on earth! Hanging out with friends at the library, eating at Coney Island, and walking to Madeline’s house were some of her few joys in life. Hey, maybe they aren’t Christian like I am, but I know they care about me! She reasoned to herself. Almost home, Amor’s mood was lightened.
After she was done with her homework Amor remembered she was going to talk to Kaleb on Facebook. Ready to be ignored once again, Amor logged on, and started to chat. “Hey, Kaleb! What’s up?” Amor’s words popped onto the screen. “Ugh. Amor! Leave me alone. Just a second. I’m RPing with Jasmine.” Kaleb fulfilled Amor’s prophecy. She sighed out loud, and rolled her eyes. “RPing? ” she tried to figure out what his made-up acronym meant. “Role playing. Kingdom Hearts. Amor, shut up. I’m talking to Jasmine.” Kaleb’s words stung, and Amor just logged off without saying anything. She wondered why she still cared so much about him. All he ever did was use her, and hurt her heart. “Oh well… He’s too popular for me anyway. Like he said, I’m too “emo” for him.” Amor tried to convince herself. “Did it ever occur to him that maybe I wouldn’t be “emo” if I had a real friend! I hate labels.”
“Amor! Get off the computer!” her mom yelled. Amor sighed, and closed her laptop. She looked outside, and was amazed that the sky was already dark. Wow, time had flown by. She walked into the bathroom, and began to wash off her makeup. “Whoa! My eyeliner is really messed up! Wonder how that happened.” She pondered to herself. Her Ipod was blaring Tokio Hotel at its loudest as she brushed her teeth, and picked out her pajamas. It had been a long day. She crashed into her covers, and immediately fell asleep.
In her dream, Amor was at lunch pretending to eat. She didn’t want to get in trouble with the teachers, but she also thought she needed to lose weight. Anorexia was an addiction for Amor. All of a sudden, all the students rushed over to the door as Amor’s favorite celebrity, Bill Kaulitz walked in. Bill pushed them all aside, and asked for Amor. Stunned, their mouths hung open, and their eyes wouldn’t blink. He walked over to Amor, and embraced her. Bill told her he would always be there for her, and she could come on tour with him. He said he didn’t care what everyone else thought, and he told he loved her. The alarm rang.
Amor hit snooze, and tried her hardest to get back to her dream. It didn’t work, so Amor got out of bed, took a shower, and started her day. Maybe no one at her school cared about her. Maybe her only true friends weren’t Christian. Maybe when she prayed she couldn’t feel God there, but she knew he was. Maybe her dreams weren’t real, but they made her happy.
Yeah. Sorry. It doesn’t really have an end because there hasn’t been one yet. This story is about me…
Best answer:
Answer by LadyLynn
I think it’s beautiful and perfect! You’re really good! 
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No. It’s your story, end it the way you think it should be ended.
You write well enough and can tell a story. A story has a beginning, a middle, and an ending. A short story usually makes a point, draws a conclusion, has a moral, or otherwise satisfies the reader that something has happened, has been gained, achieved, or completed by your character.
You story has none of these elements except for a beginning, and the rest is a rather incomplete and pointless tale out of this pitiful girl’s life. What happens to Amor? Why is the boy mean to her, why does she just keep in wishing for something some stupid guy will be her friend when he is obviously not interested in her? Where is her inner strength? Why does she need some stupid guy to complete her existence, can’t she be a little more independent?
Are you trying to make the point that being Emo results in having no friends. I see plenty of Emos who have friends. Did it ever occur to Amor that when you look like an Emo you are limiting your friends to mostly Emos? The point here is not clear.
The story is about this girl who is holding a day long pity-party for herself. What does the fact that she is a Christian Emo have to do with the story, what point are you trying to make here?
Some of these questions would have to be answered to make this story better.
Anyway, if you like writing then keep it up, good writers are hard to find